0-0

28th March 2007.

Bishan Stadium.

The scoreboard read 0-0.

Home United 0 Albirex Niigata 0.

The same Albirex that lost 3-1 to Sengkang Punggol last Friday.

The same Sengkang Punggol that was bottom or bottom 2 for the last 3 seasons.

Home United couldn't beat Albirex.

For once after 3 S-league matches that I've bet on, I lost. Every single cent.

I bet the same amount everytime.

$80.

With my 'insurance" ticket, somehow I could at least get the $80 back for the last 3 games.

But today, top team versus bottom team. No goals.

I had done everything the same way.

It's not the $80 that hurt.

It was the fact that I lost.

I sat there wondering.

I sat in the bus wondering.

Why?

Everything was the same.

What went wrong?

Then I realized it as I stepped into my room and opened my wardrobe.

I realized what was wrong.

The black cheongsam that was there for the last few months was gone.

The 2 bottles of Nivea cream were gone.

The bottle of Gucci Envy that I bought for $50 from Lucky Plaza was gone.

The hair brush that had been in there for the last one year or so was gone.

The bottles of nail polish were gone.

The sanitary pads were gone.

I walked to the bathroom.

The venus shaver was gone.

The feminine wash was gone.

The neutrogena cleansing lotion was gone.

What was not the same?

The mistress of my life was gone.

That's what's not the same.

She was not with me when I watched the match.

She was not with me as I sat there all alone in Bishan Stadium.

She has not been with me since yesterday afternoon.

The love of my life was gone.

I let her go. Silly me.

Then I looked again.

The red towel that she used once on Sunday was still hanging at the window.

The mirror that she reflected her pretty face in was still at the table.

The "Lock-Lock" containing the cotton pads was still in my wardrobe.

The hairdryer that she just used on the weekend was still here.

So I brought down the towel.

I wiped the mirror.

I kept the hairdryer in my wardrobe.

One day, when I'm ready, and when she's ready, the mistress of my life, the mistress of this room, the love of my life, one day when she's ready, she'll be back in my life, she'll be back in this room, she'll be back on this bed, she'll lie warmly in my arms, and I'll tell her how much I love her and I'll tell her how much I want her, and I'll tell her how important she is to me and everything is gonna be alright.

And everything will be alright.

I shed a tear. And the rest just came non-stop. That's why I have to stop writing now. At least for tonight. My vision is blurry. My back hurts. My heart hurts too. And the tears just won't stop.